Crazy Airline Phone Call

Talking with the general public, and with people who generally don't fly a lot, we get some crazy questions asked of us; if I haven't told you about the 'vampire call' remind me to do so. Well, last week I had a lady who called and wanted the phone number for TSA (Transportation Security Administration); you know the ones at the airport who scan your bags and wand you and such. I asked her why she wanted their number because maybe she had a question that I could answer, the exchange went something like this.....

Caller: I just found out I am pregnant.

Me: Congratulations.

Caller: I wanted to know if the TSA would let me take a lead shield with me through security to protect the unborn fetus growing inside me from the harmful UV rays of security.

Me: (Thinking don't laugh out loud, you must not be able to be in the sun much when you are pregnant, and you must be a dentist to be able to afford a lead shield that you can walk around with.) I must have taken too much time composing myself.

Caller: What do you think the options are?

Me: I don't think it is going to be possible.

Caller: I have another question.

Me: Ok

Caller: Is the air in the airplane always recirculated or do flight attendants open a window for fresh air.

Me: (shaking my head) Let me check (I put her on hold and laughed out loud, thinking, if you want to be sucked out of the airplane they can open the window for you.) I went back to her and said all the air is recirculated.

Caller: I have a 7 hour flight and I am pregnant. How am I suppose to get fresh air. Can I take a personal fan on board?

Me: We use to allow it, until 2 years ago when a lady was using one on board and it caught on fire. They are just not safe.

Caller: What am I suppose to do?

Me: Take some airborne.

One may think well those were legitimate concerns, and I guess for her they were. But to me and those who work in the airline industry it was hilarious.

I swear I am going to write a book!